


After You

by smts0529



Series: With Or Without You [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dead Sherlock, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Grieving John, Johnlock - Freeform, Letters, M/M, POV John Watson, Post-The Reichenbach Fall, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 11:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7266787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smts0529/pseuds/smts0529
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been 6 painstakingly long months since Sherlock died and John finally works up the courage to respond to the letter that was given to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After You

_Dear Sherlock,_

 

_My therapist said it would help me grieve if I wrote you this letter, so here goes nothing._

 

_It was rather rainy today._ _I managed to get up and go to the grocery store for some milk and other necessities. The bloody register wasn’t working again and I got frustrated. I wanted to break the damned thing. I know that you would want me to eat and try to stay strong. It’s just getting so difficult. I need to see you. I haven’t been myself._

  _Mycroft stopped by again to check on me. You can tell that not having you around is taking a toll on his mental and physical health. I know that you two never truly got along well, but he cared. He truly cared, Sherlock. Mycroft misses you. Your own brother nearly cried. He doesn’t carry the umbrella anymore. He always wanted to protect his little brother. When you got cancer, he could no longer do that._

  _It still baffles me that you have been gone for so long. Six entire months. Six months of sleeping alone, the other side of the bed cold in your absence. Six months of accidentally setting two places at the table. Six months without seeing your face or holding your hand. Six months without hearing your deductions of complete strangers._

  ~~ _I was going to marry you. I had a ring and everything. It was shiny gold and had our names engraved into it. You would have loved it, Sherlock._~~

  _Remember that time back at the pool, when Moriarty was there and I had the explosive vest strapped on my body? ~~Sometimes I wish it went off so I wouldn't have to go through the pain I am in right now.~~ I miss you so much it hurts. I would rather have Moriarty alive than you being dead. You would find a way to get rid of him though. You always do._

  _All I ever do anymore is look through old photographs and stroke them with my thumb, because that is the closest I'll ever be to touching you again. I'm going to put them in here if I can ever sort through these papers._

_I can't even bring myself to clean up the messes you've made because it's my only reminder that you were real, that you existed. Your experiments are everywhere. Vats of acid and human eyes. They don't bother me anymore though. I'm sorry that you died thinking that I didn't like them. I loved them. You were brilliant._

_Life feels like a bad dream now, with every day a little worse than the other. God, I miss you. ~~I miss you so much that I want to die.~~ You won't have to wait much longer because my time here is going to be up soon. We can finally be together again, you and it'll be just be us against the rest of the world. _

 

~~_I took the pills. It won't be much longer now. I love you._ ~~

 

_Yours Truly,_

_John._

_ _

  
  

_'We keep this love in a photograph.._

   

_We made these memories for ourselves.._

 

_Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken.._

 

_And time's forever frozen still..'_

_ _

 


End file.
